Your roadmap for April
Happy April! Now that spring is here, it feels like there’s more to do. But … there is one big adulting chore you have to do. If you haven’t filed your taxes yet, the deadline is April 15. Then go celebrate. Grab our Travel Kit to plan your trip. And graduation is coming up. If you or someone you know is crossing the stage, our New Life Starter Kit provides resources to find a new job, apartment and more.
Saturday, April 12 – Passover begins
Tuesday, April 15 – Income Tax Day
Sunday, April 20 – Easter; Passover ends
Start thinking about …
Sunday, May 11 – Mother’s Day
Monday, May 26 – Memorial Day
Saturday, June 7 – Eid Al-Adha
Sunday, June 15 – Father’s Day
Thursday, June 19 – Juneteenth
Friday, July 4 – Independence Day
“All the Single Ladies” readalong: Chapters EIGHT, NINE AND TEN
We’re concluding our readalong of “All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation” by Rebecca Traister with a trio of chapters that cover sex, marriage and parenthood.
“When it comes to the stories that women tell (or don’t tell) about sex, the interesting part isn’t necessarily the fact of the sex; it’s the increasing variety of sexual paths open to women, the diversity of choices made by different, or sometimes by an individual woman, over the course of her adulthood,” Traister wrote as chapter eight explores various women’s experiences.
In chapter nine about marriage, she noted that it’s the “progressive nature of a nation … that has allowed marriage to evolve” with single women “through argument or just through their existence, have forced the country to expand to make new space for them.”
When women delay marriage, it can mean that marriages last longer and men are also independent and perform chores. But some women marry because of legal and health care benefits.
Then comes the baby carriage. In chapter 10, Traister notes that IVF made it possible for single and older women to give birth, although they are still scolded for postponing birth.
And then Traister delivers one of the best lines in the book: “Singlehood wasn’t some outfit you could simply change out of when someone pointed out that it wasn’t keeping you warm enough; the husband-free existences women were living couldn’t change course with a snap of the fingers.”
She added that many women “conclude that do not want to have children, at least not as much as they want to do other things.”
The book was great, and we understand the book focuses on the historical and sociological aspects of single women, but we wanted to know about modern women, too. We want to know about single women who own homes and cars. What about women who travel, start businesses, create art and lead nonprofits? How do single women protect themselves, physically and financially? What do single women do in retirement and take care of themselves in old age? Single women are still writing that book.
“All the Single Ladies” readalong: Chapters six and seven
Money is the topic of the next two chapters in our readalong of the book “All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation” by Rebecca Traister. The titles of chapters six and seven say it all: “For Richer” and “For Poorer.”
In “For Richer,” one quote sums it well: “Dependency on men, primarily through marriage, was the perpetual condition of centuries of women. And many women, whether or not they are politically active, ideologically committed feminists, or whether they have simply considered the lives of their mothers and foremothers, understand, under their skin that the heart of independence lies money.”
Women often delay marriage “to set down professional roots.” They find satisfaction in work and education. They also have more money to spend -- but that comes at the expense of other single women who toll away in working class jobs.
And for most Americans, as Traister notes in “For Poorer,” “Work is the center of life, not because they yearn for it to be, but because it has to be.”
Single women often use services such as takeout, laundry and housekeeping “that allow women who are not wives to live as if they had wives,” but they are frequently provided by poor women.
Single women face other economic hurdles: they pay more for insurance and do not have tax breaks. And single mothers have it worse. Not only do they face a political backlash, but politicians promote policies aimed at marriage. Despite the obstacles, single motherhood gives women purpose and “lifelong bonds of love.”
Do you experience financial freedom? Do you enjoy deciding how you can spend your money? Is it harder financially than sharing costs with a husband or a roommate? Are there expenses you wish you could share with others?
“All the Single Ladies” readalong: Chapters four and five
The next two chapters in our readalong of “All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation” by Rebecca Traister explore unique aspects of single life – the craving for support and the challenges of solitude.
Chapter four is devoted to friendships that today are “recreating contemporary versions of very old webs of support.”
Friends have “pushed each into, and supported each other within, intellectual and public realms to which men rarely extended invitations.” Pairs of women founded colleges and settlement houses and headed suffrage, temperance and abolition movements.
“It’s our friends who move us into new homes, friends with whom we buy and care for pets, friends with whom we mourn death and experience illness, friends alongside whom some of us may raise children and see them into adulthood.”
But single women also have to do everything for themselves, and that solitude brings several challenges. The upside is that single women are more likely to be active and find that “solitude – both the act of being alone and the attitude of being independent – a surprisingly sweet relief.”
But single women are often seen as selfish or as freaks – “like merchandise (that sits) on the shelf … unpurchased and unloved.” They face loneliness “by the drain of having to be everything for yourself.” They can be helpless in emergencies or illnesses although, Traister noted, married people face those same obstacles.
How do you cope with emergencies or illnesses as a single woman? How do your friends play a factor in your lives?
“All the Single Ladies” readalong: Chapter three
It’s time for chapter three of our read-along of “All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation” by Rebecca Traister. This chapter of the book examines how single women flock to cities. The city becomes their “spouse and, sometimes, true love.”
Cities offer not just more jobs, but adventure. Cities are “chock-full of single people,” and they made up more than 40 percent of the population in big cities in the late 2010s (when the book was written).
The city provides infrastructure that towns don’t – from retail stores and restaurants on every corner to romantic prospects and entertainment. The cities also present challenges, such as a higher crime rate and an increased cost of living.
“Cities allow those who might have made restless, dissatisfied, always hungry-for-something-else mates who caused their partners unhappiness to exit the marriage highway, veering instead onto paths that take them to places they they’d rather be,” Traister wrote.
Do you prefer cities or small towns? What opportunities do you find in cities compared to the country? Let us know in the comments.
Here is our reading schedule:
Monday, March 3 - Chapters 1 and 2
Monday, March 10 - Chapter 3
Monday, March 17 - Chapters 4 and 5
Monday, March 24 - Chapters 6 and 7
Monday, March 31 - Chapters 8, 9 and 10
“All the Single Ladies” readalong: Chapters One and Two
Welcome to our readalong of “All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation” by Rebecca Traister. We think this is the perfect book to read for Women’s History Month. You can find our reading schedule here.
Traister’s main point of the book is that single women have always played a vital role in the making of the world – and we get a historical overview of single women’s role in history in chapters one and two.
Throughout the course of time, many single women were stuck in jobs as midwives and caretakers and then, as the industrial revolution took place, teachers or nurses.
But single women were “coalescing around a handful of social movements that would alter the future of a nation,” including the abolitionist movement. As technology advanced, women had more jobs opportunities and roles in the labor movement. They led in the shaping of the 14th, 15th, 18th and 19th Amendments.
Traister notes that the second feminist wave of the 1970s had the “ironic side effect … that single women had almost no place in the underpinnnings of the movement.” Second Wave feminists like Betty Friedan were married, but the movement “did not assume (or even consider) that marriage was a problematic element, or that it might be optional for women.”
But Gloria Steinem was unmarried and, although she had relationships, “she just really enjoyed being free.” Women were beginning to understand they could be free, too, as new laws and Supreme Court decisions and the divorce boom made it more common to be single.
This is an interesting overview of single women in history. Traister points to famous single women, including Queen Elizabeth I; activists Susan B. Anthony, Jane Addams and Dorothy Height; painter Mary Cassatt; poet Emily Dickinson; and doctors Elizabeth and Emily Blackwell. Who is your favorite single woman in history?
Here comes march …
Spring, is that you? We feel like the sun is coming. The warmer weather makes us dream of our next vacation, so grab our Travel Kit to plan your trip. March brings in several religious holidays, plus a few rowdy celebrations like Mardi Gras and St. Patrick’s Day. And if you haven’t done your taxes yet, the deadline of April 15 will come here sooner than you think.
Tuesday, March 4 - Mardi Gras
Wednesday, March 5 – Ash Wednesday; Lent begins
Saturday, March 8 - International Women's Day
Sunday, March 9 – Daylight Savings Time begins; move your clocks forward
Friday, March 14 – Holi
Monday, March 17 – St. Patrick’s Day
Sunday, March 30 – Eid al-Fitr
Start thinking about …
Saturday, April 12 – Passover begins
Tuesday, April 15 – Income Tax Day
Sunday, April 20 – Easter; Passover ends
Sunday, May 11 – Mother’s Day
Monday, May 26 – Memorial Day
Sunday, June 15 – Father’s Day
Thursday, June 19 – Juneteenth
Let’s read “All the Single Ladies”
March marks Women’s History Month and March 8 is International Woman’s Day, so there’s no better time to read a book that celebrates single women through history: “All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation” by Rebecca Traister. The 2016 book covers it all – economics, sex, friendship – and we’ll read a portion each week. Here’s what we’ll cover throughout the month:
Monday, March 3 - Chapters 1 and 2
Monday, March 10 - Chapter 3
Monday, March 17 - Chapters 4 and 5
Monday, March 24 - Chapters 6 and 7
Monday, March 31 - Chapters 8, 9 and 10
Join us!
SoloStories: “Hacks”
SoloStories is our feature in which we explore books, films and TV shows that show single women navigating their lives – but romance is not the main component.
You don’t like Deborah Vance or Ava in the Max comedy series “Hacks,” but you learn to love them.
“Hacks” is the Emmy-winning comedy about Ava (Hannah Einbinder), a young comedy writer who goes to work for Deborah Vance (Jean Smart), a comedian and entrepreneur in her 70s. Many films and TV shows focus on relationships between couples or family members. “Hacks” is that rare show that is about a multigenerational mentor-protegee relationship. Both are single – Deborah is divorced with one grown daughter and Ava, who is bisexual, is finding her way through various relationships.
In some ways, their relationship is like a romantic comedy that takes them through bonding periods (we loved the “One Day” episode in season three) and fierce arguments. But at its heart, it’s about two independent women. They both stand up for themselves and they know how they want to live their lives. Deborah hasn’t given up on hosting her own late night TV show. Ava wants her to use her voice through comedy.
“Hacks” is made by the same team -- Lucia Aniello, Paul W. Downs and Jen Statsky -- who made the other great TV show, “Broad City.” The third season, which won in the best comedy category at the Emmys, ended with a great cliffhanger that will get them what they both want – but Deborah and Ava’s relationship will be intense. We can’t wait to watch it.
#SOLOSTORIES: “The Midnight Library”
SoloStories is our feature in which we explore books, films and TV shows that show single women navigating their lives – but romance is not the main component.
Nora Seed, the main character of Matt Haig’s “The Midnight Library,” is at the lowest point of her life when she enters the Midnight Library. With each book she opens, the music store employee begins a new life.
In those pages, she becomes a scientist who faces polar bears in the Arctic Ocean. Then she’s an Olympics gold medalist in swimming who works as a motivational speaker. In another book, she’s a rock star. But then, she is married to Ash, a surgeon, and is the mother of two children.
“Library” brings answers to the questions many humans have – what if our lives turned into a different direction? What if we pursued a different career? What if that relationship turned into marriage? For single women, it’s a question that pops in our mind often because having a family is an experience that wanders through our minds – and society often looks down on being independent.
Haig’s writing paints a vivid picture of all Nora’s lives. But he does it without judgment – every choice brings interesting perspectives and relationships. And humans have to power to create their paths. As the book says, “She just needed potential. And she was nothing if not potential. She wondered why she had never seen it before.”
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YOUR GUIDE FOR FEBRUARY
February is a quick month, but it’s also slightly annoying. With Valentine’s Day, it’s a celebration for couples. And the cold weather makes you feel stuck inside. But you can give yourself love by celebrating with friends or treating yourself. And you can do plenty of things indoors – warmer weather and the Memorial Day holiday will arrive in a few months, and it’s the perfect time to plan for a trip using our Travel Kit.
Thursday, Feb. 13 – Galentine’s Day
Friday, Feb. 14 - Valentine’s Day
Saturday, Feb. 15 – Singles Awareness Day
Monday, Feb. 17 – President’s Day
Friday, Feb. 28 – Ramadan begins
Start thinking about …
Tuesday, March 4 - Mardi Gras
Wednesday, March 5 – Ash Wednesday; Lent begins
Friday, March 14 – Holi
Sunday, March 30 – Eid al-Fitr
Saturday, April 12 – Passover begins
Tuesday, April 15 – Income Tax Day
Sunday, April 20 – Easter; Passover ends
Sunday, May 11 – Mother’s Day
Monday, May 26 – Memorial Day
Listen up: great podcasts about the single life
If you love a good podcast, and you want some tips on the single life, then there’s several podcasts that are waiting to be loaded onto your phone.
The "Three Single Women" podcast combines the talents of a trio of podcasters: Pip Brown, who hosts “One Single Woman,” which looks at the social conditioning of the single status; Rachel Beck, host of “The Feisty Heroine,” which offers empowering discussions; and Lucy Meggeson, host of “Spinsterhood Reimagined,” which “celebrates all things single, childfree, and personal growth.”
“Solo: The Single Person’s Guide to a Remarkable Life" by Peter McGraw offers advice on a plethora of topics from the behavioral scientist and author.
“Seriously Single” by Briane Hogan examines everything from dating to traveling.
"Well Enough Alone" by Australian Jill Stark looks at the solo life from the psychological perspective, as well as practical tips on topics such as budgeting.
If you’re divorced, "This American Ex-Wife" by Lyz Lenz examines life after marriage from a political and sociological perspective.
#SoloStories: “How To Die Alone”
SoloStories is our feature in which we explore books, films and TV shows that show single women navigating their lives – but romance is not the main component.
In the Hulu series “How To Die Alone,” Melissa Jackson died for three minutes while assembling furniture.
It helps her come alive.
Mel (played by Natasha Rothwell, who created the series and wrote some of the episodes) is a 40-something New Yorker who drives the cart at JFK Airport. She watches passengers come and go from their trips, but she has never flown before.
She has few friends, and her job is taking her nowhere. As a fellow patient tells her, there are three kinds of death – “physical, when people stop caring about you, and the worst kind is when you stop caring for yourself.”
When her ex-boyfriend invites her to his destination wedding in Hawaii, she sees it as opportunity to fly – both literally and metaphorically.
She admits she was “comfortable being small” and she didn’t take risks. So she applies for a management program and takes a flight simulation. “You’re shaking things up like a handful of sunflower seeds,” a pal tells her.
Mel has a lot in common with Sam from “Somebody Somewhere,” and you want to root for her. But Mel also makes some choices that can be frustrating and painful to watch. The episodes become easier as Mel begins to see the rewards of her hard work.
The ending is sweet – until it ends with a shocking twist that demands a second season.
Rothwell, who also appeared in “The White Lotus” and “Insecure,” was inspired to write the series after her own near-death experience. This is a show that reveals hard truths about life, but it also shows that taking risks can bring some great pleasures.
THE KIT YOU NEED WHEN YOU’RE SICK
Being sick is no fun and it’s especially annoying when you’re on your own and there’s no one to baby you. Here’s a list of supplies to keep handy in case you come down with a cold or flu.
Keep some medicine in your cabinet, such as Vicks DayQuil and NyQuil Cold and Flu Medicine and Afrin No Drip Severe Congestion Maximum Strength Nasal Spray. Store other supplies, such as Kleenex Trusted Care Facial Tissues and Campbell's Condensed Chicken Noodle Soup. Also, the Welly First Aid Kit, which includes bandages, ointments and ibuprofen, is useful to have in case of minor accidents.
And, if you find yourself sick at home alone without any medicine, you can always use a home delivery service, such as Instacart, to bring the supplies to you. It’s better than having to drudge to the drugstore.
Please note we receive a commission from purchases you make, which helps keep our site running – thank you!
The books you need to find, then love, a job
If one of your New Year’s resolutions is to find a new job or advance in your career, we got a few book recommendations that can help you out. Our New Life Starter Kit features checklists to help with your job search.
Ladies Get Paid Ladies Get Paid: The Ultimate Guide to Breaking Barriers, Owning Your Worth, and Taking Command of Your Career by Claire Wasserman
Wasserman, the founder of the Ladies Get Paid newsletter, features advice on getting jobs and promotions, negotiating your salary, and getting over perfectionism and imposter syndrome. The book also includes scripts for networking and touchy subjects, such as asking a friend about their salary.
Power Moves: How Women Can Pivot, Reboot, and Build a Career of Purpose, by Lauren McGoodwin
The book covers topics that help you reexamine your outlook on your career, such as not chasing a “dream job,” and prioritizing self-care by silencing your inner critic. McGoodwin is founder and CEO of the Career Contessa website, which is an invaluable resource for job hunting.
Embrace the Work, Love Your Career: A Guided Workbook for Realizing Your Career Goals with Clarity, Intention, and Confidence by Fran Hauser
This is a workbook, from the startup investor and author of “The Myth of the Nice Girl,” that encourages you to create a career action plan, assemble a dream team of supporters and teaches you how to say “no” to others.
Please note we receive a commission from purchases you make, which helps keep our site running – thank you!
YOUR ROADMAP FOR JANUARY 2025
Where’s the lie?
It’s January. After all the holiday rush, it’s a nice time to settle in and do as little as possible. But it also can move with the pace of a sloth. So start thinking about spring and all the traveling you can do. Use our Travel Kit to get you started.
If you’re thinking of resolutions, grab our New Life Starter Kit to help find a new job or apartment. If taking care of your health is your goal, our Health Kit can help you keep track of your medical history and appointments.
Wednesday, Jan. 1 – New Year’s Day
Wednesday, Jan. 15 – Quarterly taxes are due for those who are self-employed or have side hustles.
Monday, Jan. 20 – Martin Luther King, Jr. Day/Presidential Inauguration
Wednesday, Jan. 29 – Lunar New Year
Friday, Jan. 31 – Employers must turn in W2 forms by this date, so you can start filing your income taxes.
Start thinking about …
Thursday, Feb. 13 – Galentine’s Day
Wednesday, Feb. 14 - Valentine’s Day
Thursday, Feb. 15 – Singles Awareness Day
Monday, Feb. 17 – President’s Day
Friday, Feb. 28 – Ramadan begins
Tuesday, March 4 - Mardi Gras
Wednesday, March 5 – Lent begins
Friday, March 14 – Holi
Sunday, March 30 – Eid al-Fitr
Tuesday, April 15 – Income Tax Day
Sunday, April 20 – Easter
#SoloStories: “Broad City”
SoloStories is our feature in which we explore books, films and TV shows that show single women navigating their lives – but romance is not the main component.
“Broad City” is a show that’s painfully funny.
The comedy, which ran from 2014 to 2019, is one of our favorite TV shows about living life on your own.
“Broad City” follows two best friends in their early 20s residing in New York City. Abbi Abrams (played by Abbi Jacobsen) is an aspiring artist who tries to play by the rules, although that doesn’t always work. Ilana Wexler (played by Ilana Glazer) is … well, let’s just call her quirky. She frequently switches up jobs and romances, but she’s never daunted by what people think of her. (She’s also the character who gave us the line, “In da clerb, we’re all fam.”)
There’s not a situation that they don’t go through – bad dates, annoying “roommates,” perplexing work dilemmas. Ilana makes the best of any situation, and in “Hurricane Wanda,” the show’s best episode, she helps rescue Abbi from an explosive diarrhea attack while her crush is in the next room. (“I’m a doo doo ninja,” Ilana tells Abbi.) They often have to be resourceful, such as finding money when they need it or carrying large objects (like furniture) through the streets of New York. So often, life shoves itself in its face. Even going to the subway is an adventure.
But they have each other. This show is a great example of single women who can handle life on their own, but they also know when to turn to a friend.
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GET READY FOR DECEMBER
It’s the most stressful time of the year! This month is packed with holidays. If you need help with a gift, check out our suggestions that apply for any time of year. (If you know someone who is graduating this month, we recommend out New Life Starter Kit.) If you’re going away for the holidays, grab our Travel Kit. And be sure to winterize your home, car and bookshelf for the cold days ahead. Just remember the week between Christmas and New Year’s Eve is also one of laziest weeks of the year, so you have that to look forward to. (If you have to work that week, we hope it runs as smoothly as possible.)
Tuesday, Dec. 3 – Giving Tuesday. Support your favorite charity.
Wednesday, Dec. 25 – Christmas
Wednesday, Dec. 25-Thursday, Jan. 2 - Hanukkah
Thursday, Dec. 26-Wednesday, Jan. 1 – Kwanzaa
Thursday, Dec. 26 – Stock up on holiday sales. (Bath and Body Works always has great deals this time of year.)
Tuesday, Dec. 31 – New Year’s Eve
Start thinking about …
Wednesday, Jan. 1 – New Year’s Day. Our favorite holiday. No obligations whatsoever. Just sit around the house and be lazy.
Wednesday, Jan. 15 – Quarterly taxes are due for those who are self-employed or have side hustles.
Monday, Jan. 20 – Martin Luther King, Jr. Day/Presidential Inauguration
Wednesday, Jan. 29 – Lunar New Year
Friday, Jan. 31 – Employers must turn in W2 forms by this date, so you can start filing your yearly income taxes.
Thursday, Feb. 13; Wednesday, Feb. 14 and Thursday; Feb. 15 – Celebrate your favorite people and yourself with Galentine’s Day, Valentine’s Day and Singles Awareness Day.
Monday, Feb. 17 – President’s Day
Friday, Feb. 28 – Ramadan begins
Tuesday, March 4 - Mardi Gras
Wednesday, March 5 – Lent begins
create the holiday you want
Illustration by Natalia Lavrinenko.
This week is Thanksgiving week and TV and film – and society – make it feel that you have to spend the holidays with family, and it is going to be fun and festive.
But if you can’t be with family for financial or personal reasons, it’s OK. You now have the power to create the holiday you want.
You don’t have to go anywhere or do any chores. You can sleep in. Eat pizza for breakfast. Read in bed. Binge-watch a favorite TV show. Make a craft. Solve a puzzle. Play music. Relish the freedom to choose what you want to do.
You can go out for a walk. Host a Friendsgiving. Volunteer to serve dinner at a homeless shelter. Go to the movies with a pal. Seize the opportunity to do your favorite things.
If you do have a traditional Thanksgiving, we hope it runs as smoothly as possible. If you work in retail, health care or other industry in which you are busy during the holiday, we send you all the good vibes.
Enjoy.
Our new health kit is here
Our new bundle is out! And the focus is on your health. Preparing for a medical appointment can be nerve-wracking. It’s not just getting examined and tested, it’s all those forms and the bills. Our Health Kit can prepare you. The kit includes worksheets for you to keep in a binder and take it with you for each appointment, so you and your health care provider have access to your medical history.
This kit includes:
Yearly Medical Appointments List
Medical Appointment List
Prescriptions List
Doctors List
Personal Medical History — Vitals
Personal Medical History — Allergies/Adverse Reactions
Personal Medical History — Conditions
Personal Medical History — Surgeries
Family Medical History
Surgery/Medical Procedure Lists
Medical Sick Kit
Resources
Grab it here.