“All the Single Ladies” readalong: Chapters EIGHT, NINE AND TEN

We’re concluding our readalong of  “All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation” by Rebecca Traister with a trio of chapters that cover sex, marriage and parenthood.

“When it comes to the stories that women tell (or don’t tell) about sex, the interesting part isn’t necessarily the fact of the sex; it’s the increasing variety of sexual paths open to women, the diversity of choices made by different, or sometimes by an individual woman, over the course of her adulthood,” Traister wrote as chapter eight explores various women’s experiences.

In chapter nine about marriage, she noted that it’s the “progressive nature of a nation … that has allowed marriage to evolve” with single women “through argument or just through their existence, have forced the country to expand to make new space for them.”

When women delay marriage, it can mean that marriages last longer and men are also independent and perform chores. But some women marry because of legal and health care benefits.

Then comes the baby carriage. In chapter 10, Traister notes that IVF made it possible for single and older women to give birth, although they are still scolded for postponing birth.

And then Traister delivers one of the best lines in the book: “Singlehood wasn’t some outfit you could simply change out of when someone pointed out that it wasn’t keeping you warm enough; the husband-free existences women were living couldn’t change course with a snap of the fingers.”

She added that many women “conclude that do not want to have children, at least not as much as they want to do other things.”

The book was great, and we understand the book focuses on the historical and sociological aspects of single women, but we wanted to know about modern women, too. We want to know about single women who own homes and cars. What about women who travel, start businesses, create art and lead nonprofits? How do single women protect themselves, physically and financially? What do single women do in retirement and take care of themselves in old age? Single women are still writing that book.